is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
