i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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