My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
