At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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