I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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