new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
