I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
