Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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