Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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