I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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