"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
