why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
