yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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