I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
