So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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