i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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