I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
