im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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