Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
