You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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