Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
