You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
