I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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