i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
