one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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