great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
