I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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