Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
