ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
