Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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