Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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