There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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