just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
