I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
