When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
