I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
