I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
