What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
