ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
soo... how was my night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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