batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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