Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
