OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
