My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
