I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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