Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
