i would punch a child for taco bell
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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