Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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