I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize