does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
