I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
