community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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