my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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