I bet he comes in French.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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