Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
