forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize