So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
