His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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