Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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